Goodness, I've been off the facebook game for a while... Sorry for the lack of eproping and such. Usually all my facebook updates are sent to my AOL address, and since I haven't been on AOL for a while, I haven't been able to see 'em. I feel so out of touch with what's going on in everyone's lives...

But anyway, I chose to update 2nite for my own personal reasons. I guess bein a confused college student has gotten the best of me. Shame. So... let's get down to it.

I'm having a complete Robert Frost moment, and I'm not entirely sure of which road I should choose. I thought that going pre-med was what I wanted. My whole mindset from my sophomore year of high school 'til senior year was to become a pediatrician. I love little kids, and I guess that was magnified when Butchie was born [for all those that don't kno... Butchie is my lil brother]. On the other hand, I love fashion. Clothes and accessories have been my obsession since I could remember. I spend my last dollars on buying Lucky magazine, or Elle, and I analyze every trend depicted in those magazines. I kno that it's a typical "girly girl" thing to be into fashion and shopping, but I think that I might take it to a whole nother level. Take this into account though: I'm not a superficial person in the slightest. I never had the money to buy all the clothes I wanted, and I wouldn't count myself as "the trendsetter" of any group of people..... but fuck, clothes are exciting to me lol. Call me a freakin loser all u want for that statement, but its true. Most people have a passion for producing beats or writing poetry, but I kno that my heart rests with fashion [and  fine-ass men, among other things... =]]. I didn't kno what a person could do with a degree in Fashion Merchandising, or in the case of O-State, Textiles and Clothing, so I kinda left it alone and chose to do Psychology and Pre-Med instead.

Buttttttt......

I fugured out that there is this job out there that is perfect for me~ to become a fashion buyer for a major retail company. Let's say I get hired at Gap Inc or Saks Fifth Avenue. If I were to be a fashion buyer for these stores, I would get to choose what clothes would be sold or put on display for them. I would go to fashion designers, and negotiate which clothings would be sold for their fall or spring lines, and essentially bring those clothes to the major stores. Anndddd since I get to schmooze [is that a legit word?!] with the various designers, I also get to travel to places like Paris and Canada and Asia....and... -gasp-..... go to fashion shows.

So, I figured that since I found my dream job, a change in major would have to be in order. Instead of doing Psych and Pre-Med, I would have to make an appointment with the business college here and change my major to Marketing with a minor in Textiles and Clothing.

The problem...

I ran the idea by my parents, and they weren't exactly excited by it. As a matter fact, my mom was pretty pissed off... but I kinda expected that. My dad supported my decision at first, and then he changed his mind on me [AGHh]. Understand this though, my mom and her whole side of the family come from a health background: she's a nurse, my aunt was a nurse, my cousin's a nurse, my uncle's a fucking nurse, my uncle's uncle's a nurse... so naturally, she's gonna push for me to do something doctor or, dare I say, nurse- related. Basically, anythang not related to the health field is a big "HELL NO! " in her eyes. And their reasons for me not changing my major? Well, they told me that: A). Marketing is not a reliable major; B). You can't make a good salary with marketing; C). There is not a large demand in the job field for marketing; D). Nursing and Pre-Med IS a reliable major; E). You're salary is huge in the health field; F). People get laid off easily in the business world, whereas in the health industry, help is always needed, and you always have a lot of hours; G). Business people don't like people straight out of college; H). As soon as you graduate college/ med school a job is always available to u..... ETC......... I could discredit so many of the things that they told me-- it's insane.

But hey, all I did was chicken out and tell them that I'll change my major to nursing after all-- Despite the fact that I am horrible at chem and bio and physics, and despite the fact that I have no desire to dedicate my life to science classes for the next four years, and despite the fact that I kno being a pediatrician/ pediatric nurse is not what I truely wanna do. The health field is kinda like a safety net for me-- it's my security. I don't kno what the future would hold for me if I were a fashion buyer, but with something in health, I see something so routine and BLah!!!

Sigh... I donno what I'm gonna do. Help me?!

-edit-

YEAAAAAAAA BUCKS!!!

Well, looks like another victory for us, and I couldn't be cheesin' any more than I am. . Troy and AJ were on point as usual, and wow, Ginn actually did something major this season ? So.... next year we'll be playin in the Rose Bowl, yes? Haha, we better! But for now, it's time for us to FiESTA!!

Too bad Maurice Clarett is an egotistical cunt runnin from the law, when he coulda been movin on to bigger and better thangs.

And although I think that Laura Quinn is gorgeous, she kinda resembles Steven Tyler... just a little. It's okay tho.

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Hullo hullo!

Well... I have a feeling that this might be my last update in a whilllleeee. Not that I updated as much as I should have during the break, but I feel that since I'm gonna be back on campus tomorrow, u guys wont see any blogging from me until like.. a month from now.... maybe even two. lol. No matter, no matter.

2006 has finally arrived. Where the heck did 2005 go?! It felt like yesterday when I was walkin the halls in Amador Valley, and enjoyin that MILD California winter. It seems like I brought that weather up to Ohio with me, cuz it really hasn't been that cold out here. Christmas was in the 50s, and when I was out with my moms today, the only thing that I really had on me was a 3/4 sleeve shirt wit my Old Navy jacket. I hear that mid January and February is when it really turns arctic.. like below 0ish. Eeek... I'm a lil scared for that.. espcially since its wayy colder up in Columbus than it is out here in Cincinnati. Brr.

Ooookay, I went off on a tangent there. It's 2006!!  Time to bust out some Bacardi Gold and Hennessy, yes? Just kidding. I feel that this year is gonna be great on so many levels. For one, I get to go back to THE Ohio State University and get my schooling onnn. I still get a chance to meet a butt-load of people. Annnd I get to try/ experience things that I never had before. I have a good feeling about this year. I got my head on straight and the Lord on my side. What could be better than that?

This year, my resolutions are to: 1). Get a 4.0 winter and spring quarter 2). get a JOB! 3). save up enough money instead of spending it on everything in sight! annddd 4). Get back on track with God.. it seems like I've lost my way..

I've been lookin at different fashion schools here in Ohio, just for giggles, and they had some good fashion majors at Kent State-- I was surprised (not that I know enough about the colleges here in Ohio to actually be surprised about stuff like that). There's so many things that I want to do with a fashion major-- be a buyer for a big name retail company, like Bloomingdales or Nordstroms... or, I was reading in Lucky magazine that this one girl sets up the front window displays at the major fashion stores and she gets paid a lot of money for it. I don't think that I could be a designer though, cause I never got serious with drawing sketches.. and I don't kno how to sew =(. At OSU they got the Textiles & Clothing major, and as I was lookin through the course planning manual, it showed that one of the classes offered is an internship to New York City for a fashion label. OMF@^#@^!! How awesome would that be?! I would die!! It's still been my dream to move to NYC after college and get an apartment overlooking Central Park. Too bad the people that do own apartments there are gazillionaires-- but maybe one day it could happen. And even if it didn't overlook Central Park, it wouldn't matter. I'd love to live there just to live.

But for now, med school will do =). I'm happy there too.

See ya later gators.

Ooh.... and be sure to cheer for the BUCKS tomorrow during the Fiesta Bowl!! Watch them savages serve Notre Dame a healthy serving of ASS WHOOPiN!

Nite guys!

**Trey Songz is on the radio =D. Imma marry that nig one day, just u wait...  "I DON'T WANNA LEEAAAAAVVVVEEEEEE, BUT I GOTTA GO RIGHT NOW"**

Okay, besides that brief interjection about my baby daddy (sigh), I had a freakin' awesome dream this morning! So, I woke up real early this morning, checked my cell for the time (6AM what the fuck?!), and then I fell back asleep. Well, I dreamt that I was dating Pharrell!  Not exactly my type of guy, but he's still fine nonetheless. He took me out to lunch in LA, and then afterwards we were on Rodeo looking at all the stores and boutiques and whatnot. He offered to buy me all the clothes I wanted, but I refused because I didn't want him spending his money on me. Ha-- how thoughtful. Anyway, we kicked it with some mutual friends afterwards, and yes, Chad Hugo (my favorite Filipino) was hangin with us. That was frikken sweet, and to top it all off... he kissed me. Whatta gentleman.

Sigh, how crazy would that have been if such happened in real life? Me and Mr. Williams...A girl can keep dreamin', right?! Literally...

I jus thought I'd share. Not that my dreams are normally like this, but F! Its moments like these where I truly treasure my rest. The end.

Oh, and I get to go back to OSU for Winter Quarter! God is good =)

Currently Listening I Gotta Make It By Trey Songz Gotta Go see related

Whoa... it's almost 2:30 and I'm still wide awake, not to mention-- completely bored to tears. Time for a little update? Yes, yes... great time to update.

Things on the home front are pretty decent. The family is getting along (finally!!) and we're all back on some Brady Bunch shit, which makes me . I'm still prayin that I can go back to O-State for Winter Quarter. My dad asked the manager at his job to write the letter for the registrar people, but they ain't wrote it yet. Hopefully they'll have it in by the end of the week, but I have a feeling that I passed the deadline to be considered a resident for winter quarter. Despite alla that... I'm still kinda optimistic that I'll be back in Stradley, jus gotta keep praying.

All of that aside... I'm jus sitting here listening to "Hypothetically" by Lyfe Jennings (which is one of the songs I'm currently feeling, among others). Everything is so chill right now. But I guess that's somethin you'd expect this late at night, or this early in the morning depending on how you look at it hehe. Anyway, this song is kinda twisted. It's about this one couple, a he said/ she said type a deal, where both question what the other person would do if they were to cheat on each other. The guy asks what his girl would do if he decided to do a lil somethin on the side, while the girl asks her man what he would do if she were to have a baby by another guy, but lie and say the baby was his. Not that it would really matter since they are asking the question in hypothetical terms-- hence the title of the song lol. Hmmm....

Well look at that-- xanga-ing did help me get tired *yawn*(and yes, I really did just yawn). I was gonna go off on a tangent from Lyfe's song about how f'ed up love can be at times, and how true love jus doesn't exist to me anymore, yet how I wish I did fall in love with somebody. Maybe some other time, though. I'll save excess rantings for my next entry. Nighty night y'all =D

I wrote this entry last night. I was contemplating not putting this on here... and I even thought about jus leaving this as a private entry, but whatever.. here goes...

I love OSU. I've met so many people.. my grades are on point... kicking it with Tiff and Raven and Lindy every night has been awesome. I can't complain-- I never had a bad day since I've been up in Columbus. The Lord blessed me in so many ways, and I was sittin up there wondering why I was so lucky.

And now I feel like its bein taken away from me. When I called my moms the other day, she said she needed to have a talk with me, and she didn't seem too happy about whatever she needed to say. When I came home today, she sat down and told me that I might not go back to OSU for winter quarter-- she has too many bills to pay, and plus the out-of-state tuition is so high that she can barely afford to pay my way through school anymore. Last week I told my dad to get some shit taken care of so that I can be considered a resident of Ohio: get a statement saying that he is currently employed full-time/ a letter from him stating that I am financially depedent on my parents. Basically, I told him to take care of some shit that takes no more than a half- hour from his life-- and he can't do it. His reason? He doesn't have a reason. On top of that-- his tax return would help a lot with them being able to pay my tuition, but that doesn't get mailed until January-- after my tuition fee is due.

So now I probably can't go back to OSU this coming quarter because my parents can't afford to pay my tuition. And I prolly wont be able to come back until Spring quarter--I'm hoping that they will let me back.

I'm hoping some kind of Christmas miracle will happen, and I'll be able to go back to school winter quarter. There are so many things that I need to take care of before my third year if I still wanna be in Pre-Med, and being set back a quarter wont help me. I'm still in denial about everything. I don't know what to do?! Help...